we have to go zach

college student who really should be a former college student by now. Love sports, comedy, convincing people I know things about film, convincing myself i'm going to do something productive tomorrow, watching old basketball games on YouTube instead

music!: http://www.last.fm/user/DrProfessional

Oh, I love any book about vampires, werewolves, monsters, zombies, sorcerers, beasties or, time-traveling romances. And if I had an hour alone with Robert Pattinson, he would forget all about Skinny legs Magee. I’ll tell you that much.

One time I waited outside a woman’s house for five days just to show her how serious I was about wanting to drill her. Turns out, it was the wrong house. She loved the story anyway. We got to third base. Over the pants.

mulaneysbutt:

"But it’s very strange. Cause this is the first time I’ve ever seen a law change because the government was just like, ‘*sigh*… fine’."

Mulaney: An Opening Act Preview Special | (x)

We need to remember what’s important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn’t matter, but work is third.